image courtesy of amyfamb

You already know I’m a pretty crummy 3D gamer—I stink at dual-analog controls, my depth perception is non-existent, and I collect stuff in games where I should be shooting enemies. I’m hopeless.

Naturally, my new boyfriend is a mainstream gamer.

His console of choice is a modded PC. It looks like an Alienware (but isn’t–it looks way cooler), has a graphics card the size of a pack of graham crackers, and even has a useless-but-cool blue light in the back that he uses as ambient light. His game of choice is L4D2 – unless he feels like going a little retro and hitting up The Orange Box or Assassin’s Creed.

He’s an FPS guy. A full-on FPS guy. I swear I can hear God laughing at me.

You’d think that, in order to make this relationship work – at all – we’d have to find some kind of gaming compromise.  Not so much here, as what I consider a fun gaming experience is not even close to what he considers a fun gaming experience. Our first major phone conversation was detoured for half an hour because he was describing all the fun kills in Manhunter. The first time I stayed over at his apartment he reminisced about Assassin’s Creed for over an hour (he swears it’s less, but neither of us could figure out where that hour went).

While those games are completely out of my element, I enjoy his enthusiasm for them – even though I’m not such a big fan of the kills. He had a lot of fun playing those games: he’s got a really good eye for detail, so the kinds of challenges offered by those games were really rewarding for him. I get that.

Still, we’re not exactly gaming together. He’s not as into Dragon Quest IX or Henry Hatsworth in the Puzzling Adventure as I am. He’ll listen patiently as I explain why I’m stuck or what challenge I’m facing, but it doesn’t hold his interest. Not even close.

Luckily for me, he cut his teeth on a lot of the same retro games I did. That gives us something to work from. We don’t see eye to eye on everything: he hated Gauntlet and had never really played Little Nemo: The Dream Master–one of my favorite games. He was horrified I hadn’t even heard of  Solar Jetman and Monster Party–his favorite games. We were doomed… until our mutual love of Contra came up. And our mutual hatred for Spy Hunter. And our mutual agreement that Super Castlevania IV was the best old-school Castlevania game ever.

Ultimately I sat in his lap and talked him through Solstice (which he couldn’t figure out and I actually beat. Ha!) and Mickey Mousecapade. It was sort of like backseat gaming – but more sexy and incredibly fun. So, while my FPS guy’s moved on to more challenging fare, better graphics and precise controls, he still respects his roots. I like a man with flexibility.

While he’s more than willing to pitch me material for this blog, we have yet to play a game together (I dangled Super Smash Bros. in front of him, but he didn’t bite). I’ll fill you in when – and if – that happens.