It’s quite easy to forget that in the early-to-mid ’90s, the Buffalo Bills boasted one of the best lineups in the National Football League. Although it’s infinitely easy for the simpleminded to poke fun at the Bills four consecutive Super Bowl losses (1990 vs. the New York Giants, 1991 vs. the Washington Redskins, and 1992/1993 vs. the Dallas Cowboys) true pigskin fans recognize the sheer amount of talent that the team possessed; talent that just bent over and took a hard, swift boot to the hind-parts whenever it came down to go-time. I never said I wasn’t counted amongst the simpleminded.

Every Tecmo Super Bowl head worth his digital jock strap knows the best term to describe the Bills in the game: the San Francisco 49ers’ incredibly fun, but second rate, B-team. Let’s take it from the top with QB Bills (aka Jim Kelly), the Mr. Furley of the Tecmo universe.

Depending on your source of entertainment, Jim Kelly was either Joe Montana without the Super Bowl rings or Bruce Lee with an Afro. And since this tome is neither about entering dragons or the martial arts proficiency of some guy named Williams, I’d reckon that the former, and not the latter, definition applies.

In Tecmo Super Bowl, Kelly goes by the moniker “QB Bills” as he was not part of the NFL Players Association at the time of the game’s creation. As he was in his prime, Jim Kelly is one of the top quarterbacks in the game – - I’d place him within the top five at the position. Kelly is only one of two QBs in Tecmo Super Bowl with Pass Control ratings of 81 (the other, of course, is Joe Montana), and he one ups his peer with an 81 Avoid Pass Block rating (Bay Area Joe has 75). The pair share equal Pass Speed ratings of 56, which is pretty much the arm strength of the average Tecmo passer. So in other words, you can drop Kelly back 40 yards and toss a long bomb without fear of an I-N-T (but not 41 yards, because that would just be plain silly).

You'll see this a lot.

Complementing Kelly’s air attack is Thurman Thomas, the Bill’s running back whom the default Buffalo playback revolves around. Thomas has a swift 63 Maximum Speed (just for comparison’s sake, Bo Jackson has 75), and his 75 Ball Control rating insures that his steady hands will allow you to keep the possession when he gets his clock cleaned by a 400 pound lineman (unlike another high-profile RB that will appear in coming weeks).

Let’s dissect the playbook. Pressing Up + A causes Jim Kelly to perform a fake hand off to Jamie Mueller (who’s only good for this sort of deception), but then stuff it into the gut of Thomas a second later. When used correctly (as in, not every other play), all but the most hardcore Tecmo player will bite on the fake, giving you the opportunity to pick up some short- to medium-range yardage. Left + B is a play action fake to Mueller as Thomas streaks downfield. A successful completion is a guaranteed Bills first down. Up+B sees Thomas dash to the top of the playfield and then pause. When a defender comes to cover Thomas, he’ll do so on the side of the running back facing the quarterback, which leaves Thomas free to dart downfield with a defender trailing behind him. Pretty deadly stuff in the right hands. The aerial attack is bolstered by Andre Reed, an outstanding wide receiver with fast feet and butter hands.

But the Bills, like any championship-level team, packed significant punch on the defensive end as well. Bruce Smith leads the literal charge from the linebacker position; as with Lawrence Taylor, when you call one of the feared Tecmo blitzes, his muscle-bound frame is typically the one standing over the QB’s quivering, barely-live body. Thanks to Smith’s 75 Hit Points (he’s one of the four defenders with that amount of raw power), he’s able to popcorn the line.

Despite being one of the most dominant forces in the game, the Buffalo Bills certainly don’t place as high as you’d think they would for such a deep squad. This is directly attributable to the superior talent that happens to overshadow them. The Niners are an all-around better team, and each individual superstar is pretty much out-shined by one on another team. So, for lack of a more poignant analogy, the Buffalo Bills are the Jan Bradys of the National Football League. Can you guess which set of sports video game athletes top the Buffalo Bills and will appear next week?

One guess:  Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!