GENRE: Teen Sex Comedy

Location/Setting: Massachusets, 1973, Beach, Arizona

Format: Feature Film

ELEMENTS: Teens, Sex, Drugs, Cults, Aliens

BUDGET: Medium

AUDIENCE: Teenagers, Men 18-35

YES or NO

Contemporary? No

Universal? No

Marketable? Yes

Commercial? Yes

Mainstream Appeal? Yes

Unique? No

Intelligent? No

Big-Star Potential? No

Dark? No

Dysfunctional? No

LOGLINE: Kevin, an undergrad astronomy whiz, struggles to get his girlfriend back from a cult as aliens descend upon his quiet Massachusets town in 1973.

COMMENTS BRIEF: The script is full of strong interesting visuals and fun ideas, but it needs clarification of plot points and structure in order to take advantage of its strengths.

COMMENTS: A teen sex comedy with aliens and a cult is great fun — particularly since there are lots of drugs and sex involved. There are fun sight gags (the protagonist’s overcrowded family home), striking visuals (the aliens beaming someone up) and sympathetic characters, but they get lost in the elements of the plot. This movie tries to be everything at once, and is confusing rather than richer for it.

It starts out as an alien invasion (the first image we see is of UFOs), but drops that idea in favor of a kooky cult. The cult provides most of the story beats for the middle, while the alien storyline pops back in for the dénouement and the closing scene. The specifics of the aliens — who they are, why they’re here, what they want — are never clear. Neither is their purpose in the story. They have the potential to be more than a recurring thematic device and special effect, despite being treated as such. The cult needs clarification as well: its mix of general space, Christian and Buddhist elements make it difficult to figure out how it works, and it’s exposure as a narcotics ring is supported by one incredibly slight scene. Its purpose, appeal and rules are never clear.

Structurally-speaking, the stakes of the story are unclear. The inciting incident and act breaks are not clear. The protagonist doesn’t express interest in keeping his girlfriend until long after he’s tried to get her back, making many of the middle beats long and unnecessary. His girlfriend leaves him twice in the script, in almost exactly the same way both times; because it happens twice in 60 pages the stakes are null and void of proper conflict or momentum. Plot elements are dropped (Kevin asking his Professor to verify UFO photos) character arcs are stilted or truncated (Kevin’s father proposing he carry on the family business and stranding him in the desert when he refuses), and entire characters have no relationship to the overall plot (Rosie, Officer McClellan).

Dialogue and camera directions need a polish. The dialogue is often stilted, resorting to banter and first-level statements rather than intuitive organic ones rooted in a real place. Major arguments between Kevin and his girlfriend often contain filler to build up to key points. The action sequences and the key visuals are particularly overwritten, making it difficult to understand exactly what should be onscreen. All camera directions would benefit from tightening. The tone could also use some clarification, as it feels both older than 1973 (the opening song and much of the adult speech is 1950s) and more modern (a girlfriend calling the love interest, “girlfriend”).

STORY BRIEF: An undergraduate astronomy whiz gets accepted into his dream school across the country when his life is turned around by a UFO spotting: his girlfriend sees it, he doesn’t believe her, and he loses her to a UFO-worshipping cult. Too bad he has to rescue her before the aliens take over.

SUMMARY: Kevin and Pauline are young and in love, living together in a camper and destined to go through life together. Until Kevin gets accepted into the University of Arizona and tells Pauline he’ll visit her on weekends. She thought they would stay together. He never considered it. Oops. Off she runs to a cult where she meets the Guru and finds her new purpose in life, all while Kevin captures pictures of a UFO she swore she saw. He infiltrates the cult but gets beaten and kicked out, spiraling into a depression that makes him try to drown himself — until he realizes how much he really loves Pauline. And that aliens exist. He goes into another depression spiral after she refuses him a second time, and despite the fact that she catches him doing her best friend she realizes she loves him. Which comes in handy when he tries to save her from the cult a third time and gets into a fistfight with the guru. True love wins out in the end, though, as they both see the aliens and are comforted in the fact they can share that secret together. They drive to Arizona together, happy as can be.