Duke is back and better than ever.

I was invited back to 2K’s  personal theater where I got to check out a sweet video where Duke paid some lip service to the game, while two girls “serviced”,  him with their lips — if you know what I mean. All of it was implied, of course.

As if the entertaining trailer wasn’t enough, I was able to actually get hands on time with Duke Nukem Forever. I’ve even added photographic evidence of myself with the demo, so readers can rest assured that Duke will soon be in gamers homes kicking ass and taking names.

The graphics are buttery smooth, making even the most delicious looking of games, like Mirror’s Edge, look outdated. When you’re done admiring the graphics, the game lets you empty Duke’s bladder in a pissing minigame (hey, 12 years without a piss is a long time). Once you and Duke are good to go, you proceed to a fight a huge Cycloptic alien in the middle of a football field. Luckily, you can shoot at him with guns known as Devastators, twin missile launchers that possess a wicked amount of rapid fire. After the alien’s had enough missiles, you can punt what’s left of his eye through a nearby goalpost for some post fight fun, and to hear Duke rattle off a classic one liner.

You can also play a driving level in the demo. Highlights include running over aliens in a huge monster truck and knocking over bridges. Once your party wagon dies or takes enough damage, Duke can keep bringing the fight to the aliens, via a heaping helping of 9mm bullets. Unfortunately, this is where the demo ended.

Gamers can get their hands on Duke Nukem Forever when it comes out sometime in 2011 (for real this time!).