Review: Postal Babes (Android)

Posted on Apr 30 2010 - 8:35am by Chris Gampat

Chris Gampat T2i Review Postal Babes and Zenobia 1 of 13 300x200 Review: Postal Babes (Android)

Postal Babes for Android pays homage to the original Postal, a game known back in the day for its raunchiness, raw violence, and brutality. It’s been banned in many countries, but the freedom allowed on the Android platform, enables gamers to get their paws on this controversial game.  But is it actually good?

Postal Babes is pretty damn kick-ass.

This game has it all: College girls,  lots of skin, violence, cool weapons, lots of skin, dudes getting their butts kicked, and more skin. Did I mention lots of skin?

The grindhouse storyline starts off when the babes’ university is taken over by savage men who attack and kill the female members of the student body. Your heroine gears up in her thong and hooker shoes and starts taking the fight straight to the man (or men). The plot gets more complicated (no spoilers!) as you perform rescue missions.

Players don’t need a keyboard to play the game; the virtual, translucent controls let you deftly handle your character. In fact, use of the keyboard isn’t recommended as the controls set up is a bit clunky.

The story of Postal Babes is told through little dialogue areas in the game that will generally be ignored by players who just want to rack up kills. The storyline doesn’t hold much weight, so players shouldn’t expect anything that will create emotional attachments between the players and their characters. That’s too be expected of the grindhouse genre, so that’s no huge loss.

All one really cares about is getting new weapons, beating dudes up that look vaguely like Steven Seagal, and maximizing the violence factor. Because of this, it is a very brainless game. Not that there is anything very wrong with that; this is a game about scantily-clad women shooting guys.

Players receive different weapons throughout the game: baseball bats, throwing knives, your shoes, a machete, grenades, handgun, M16 and a sniper rifle. You’ll enjoy the combination of attacks that you can do as well as overpowering your manly enemies. Later on in the game, the M16 will become your staple when paired with quick jumps to avoid gunfire and enemies.

The music and sounds are nothing special, which is quite sad as great sound can really make a game. There are sounds during the opening scene, during combat, and during special events that may happen in the game. Other than that, it is quite disappointing. Over the years, gamers have come to want a better soundtrack to accompany the gameplay as sound is very important to add to the feeling and universe that one is transported to. The game would’ve been served best with some tracks by Snoop Dogg, Three Days Grace, Breaking Benjamin, or 50 Cent. These artists are the type that all players usually hear in similar styled games that just try to maximize all possible violence like the Grand Theft Auto series. If those were incorporated though, this game would perhaps not be free.

Yes, this game is a free download from the Android Market. And it is worth every bit of time your network spends downloading it as the game is both a decent length and a large download for any Android app. Note that there is no nudity in the game though–at least none that I saw.

This game would be pretty awesome on an Android tablet of some sort as long as the tablet screen isn’t too huge (otherwise it may be very cumbersome to play). A Dell Mini 5 user may really enjoy this as the screen is still at a manageable and handheld size. Otherwise, a totally new control scheme would need to be developed for the game as most of the controls should be easily reachable with your thumbs.

Give the game a download if you’re an Android fan. You’re not likely to find many games of this ilk on the market  (particularly a 2D game) as most Android games are very simple or re-hashes popular games.

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Chris Gampat’s love of video games started when he was a wee lad and played Golden Axe on his PC. Since then, he has played Counter Strike Source and Condition Zero professionally. These days, he enjoys games with endless re-playability and time wasters to help quick spurts of time pass by. Chris has worked for the blogs at the PCMag Network, Magnum Photos, Times Square Chronicle, Geek.com and others. He has had formal training in writing, photography and videography. Despite the craze over games like Guitar Hero, Chris firmly believes that nothing will replace the feel of his Fender Jazz Bass in his hands. You can read his professional photo musings at The Phoblographer.